SAE Parent-Child Theory Paper 4: Arrangements in the Parent-Child Relation / SAE 亲子论 Paper 4: 亲子关系的安排

This paper reads the arrangements parents set for a child, and the household's rules. Only the side of them that lies between person and person, the part the institution does not provide for or that goes beyond its provisions, is read here; provisions concerning guardianship, role authority and constructs are acknowledged but not judged. These arrangements are the parents' today's arrangements for the child's tomorrow: what the layer of relation reads is one and the same bearer's today toward his tomorrow, and carrying this to the parents' today toward the child's tomorrow is this series' own undertaking. An arrangement is read by three questions: whether there is an arrangement transferring the authority to interpret as the first-person position matures; whether the refusals, deviations and restructurings the child gradually produces can really alter that arrangement; whether the present configuration is marked as a present arrangement open to revision, or as a final content irrefutable in future. The authority to interpret is handed over domain by domain as the child matures in each matter, not all on one day; a line that is externally fixed, not defeasible by the facts of a case, and applied uniformly across matters carries a risk of systematic misclassification. When 13DD emerges, the child's "no" is where negation first targets the other and the "I" is chiseled out; one "no" does not by itself certify that 13DD has emerged. Reading it uniformly as not yet understanding is exactly what the second question blocks. At the end of the father or the mother, what is read here is: keeping one's own direction, while not maintaining it by pressing down the child's negation. The ex ante structural condition of a cultivative intervention, carried to the child, is checked at the parent's end, without first judging which layer the child has reached; where there is something he cannot yet do, it is checked separately for pre-occupation: whether his position for later first-person running and revision is sealed in advance, before he can do it. Marking a present arrangement as a final content the child will be unable to refute in future is a signal of pre-occupation; to read it as pre-occupation further requires that the not-yet-running position be sealed shut before the gate runs of itself: the difference between maintaining and fixing is what this whole judgment turns on. An arrangement does not become pre-occupation merely by constraining the child; and a relation's long absence of conflict is not taken as evidence of cultivation. This paper interfaces with Rousseau and the Analects, and reads an account by Lu Xun. It does not prove that parents ought not to set rules for a child, nor that the child's "no" is always right, nor that the fewer arrangements the better. --- 这一篇读父母为孩子定的安排与家里的规矩。这里只读其中人与人之间、制度没有规定或超出规定的那一面;涉及监护、角色权限与构的规定,认而不判。这些安排是父母的今天对孩子明天的安排:关系一层读的是同一个承担者的今天对明天,推到父母的今天对孩子的明天,由这个系列自担。读一项安排,照三问:有没有随第一人称位成熟而移交解释权的安排;孩子逐步出现的拒绝、偏离与重构,能不能真实地改变那个安排;当前的配置被标为一个可修订的当下安排,还是被标为未来不可反驳的最终内容。解释权随孩子在各件事上的成熟一域一域移交,不是某一天一起交出;一道外部固定、不可由个案事实反驳、跨事项统一使用的线,有系统性错分的风险。 13DD 涌现时,孩子那一声「不」,是否定首次指向他人、「我」被凿出来的地方;一次「不」不独自认证 13DD 涌现。把它一律读成尚未懂事,正是第二问所挡的。父或母这一端,这里读的是:保有自己的方向,同时不靠压掉孩子的否定来维持这一方向。涵育性介入的事前结构条件推到孩子,照父或母这一端核,不先判孩子到了哪一层;他还做不到的那一处,另照预占核:他此后第一人称运行与修订的位置,是不是在他能做之前就被预先封住。 把当前的安排标为孩子将来不可反驳的最终内容,是预占的信号;读成预占,另要那个尚未运行的位置在门自行之前就被封死:维护与定格之别,是这一判的全部所系。安排本身,不因约束了孩子而成为预占;一段关系长期没有冲突,也不作涵育的证据。这一篇与卢梭、《论语》对接,并读鲁迅的一段自述。它不证明父母不该给孩子定规矩,不证明孩子的「不」都对,也不证明安排越少越好。 English and Chinese editions in one record. The English edition is an independent rewrite of the Chinese text, not a translation; where the two differ, the Chinese governs. Related works: Cites · Publication / Preprint · DOI(12) 10.5281/zenodo.23545115 10.5281/zenodo.23545047 10.5281/zenodo.23541778 10.5281/zenodo.23545076 10.5281/zenodo.22313628 10.5281/zenodo.21611154 10.5281/zenodo.22731235 10.5281/zenodo.21314907 10.5281/zenodo.19044827 10.5281/zenodo.19248039 10.5281/zenodo.22656207