Beyond Self-Blame: A Qualitative Study of the Changing Experience of Parental Guilt Following the Death of a Child

Parental guilt is one of the most pervasive emotional responses following the death of a child and has been consistently associated with adverse bereavement outcomes. However, little is known about how bereaved parents experience and integrate guilt over time. This qualitative study explored the lived experience of parental guilt, its relationship with the cause of death, and the processes that facilitate its integration. Semi-structured, in-depth interviews were conducted with 27 bereaved mothers and fathers and analysed using reflexive thematic analysis. Four themes were identified. First, the intensity and meaning of guilt differed according to the cause of death: sudden or potentially preventable deaths were associated with overwhelming self-blame, whereas anticipated deaths following illness elicited guilt related to caregiving and perceived inadequacy. Second, guilt was experienced as a multidimensional process, including protective, caregiving, counterfactual, survivor, and parental identity guilt. Third, participants retrospectively described changes in their relationship with guilt, from pervasive self-blame towards greater integration rather than complete resolution. Finally, meaning reconstruction, peer support, professional psychological support, and self-compassion facilitated this process. These findings highlight parental guilt as a dynamic process shaped by the circumstances of the loss, with implications for tailored bereavement assessment and intervention.