Thematic Analysis of Iranian Couples’ Experiences of Performative Relationships on Instagram

In an era when couple intimacy is increasingly represented in the public space of social media, the boundary between “being in a relationship” and “performing a relationship” has grown uncertain. Drawing on Goffman's dramaturgical theory, Hochschild's emotional labor, Foucault's panopticon, and the concept of participatory surveillance, this qualitative study examined how Iranian couples with substantial Instagram followings experience and construct their intimacy within a context of continuous performance. Using Braun and Clarke's thematic analysis, 20 married couples were selected through purposive and snowball sampling and studied via semistructured interviews. Data analysis yielded two interrelated core themes. The first, “couple life in the gap between social representation and lived intimacy,” comprises four main themes: incongruence between experienced intimacy and its performative representation, the dominance of performance logic over the couple's emotional bond, gradual transformation of the relationship under continuous performance, and psychological-relational dependence on the audience. The second, “couples benefiting from the opportunities of a performative relationship,” captures the economic, social, and relational capital—along with enriched shared experiences—that performance can generate. Rather than constituting separate or contradictory outcomes, these two themes form a single continuum, in which the same performative mechanism simultaneously erodes authentic intimacy and generates tangible relational and material benefits, intensified by Iran's collectivist culture and the concept of āberū (face/reputation). The findings offer culturally grounded insight for family and couple counselors working with clients whose intimacy is mediated by audience-oriented digital performance, and contribute to broader theoretical debates on the nature of intimacy in the digital era.