Being an agent in daily life and therapy with avoidant personality difficulties: a qualitative internet survey

Abstract Background Avoidant personality disorder is a prevalent condition characterized by difficulties with agency, defined as the capacity to act intentionally and pursue goals. Although psychotherapy is recommended, individuals with an avoidant personality disorder often encounter challenges engaging in treatment. Developing a phenomenological understanding of agency within this population may enhance their well-being in daily life and inform future therapeutic approaches. The purpose of this study was to investigate how individuals with avoidant personality difficulties experience agency in daily life and psychotherapy. Methods 56 adults with current or past avoidant personality difficulties replied to a qualitative internet survey with 14 open-ended questions. We adopted a hermeneutic–phenomenological epistemological stance and analysed the dataset using reflexive thematic analysis. Results Five themes emerged: (1) A Threatening World: Escaping Judgment, withdrawal and self-constraint to avoid criticism; (2) When Boundaries Collapse: Over-Adaptation to Others, submissiveness to maintain relationships; (3) Disconnected from Within: Unclear Sense of Self, loss of emotional and motivational clarity; (4) Longing from a Fortress of Self-Protection: Frozen Dreams, foreclosed aspirations; and (5) Finding Space: Conditions for Moving Beyond Constraints, gradual self-expression supported by relational safety and understanding. Conclusions Individuals with avoidant personality difficulties actively navigate conflicting motives. Protective strategies paradoxically constrain authentic self-expression. Relational safety appears to foster therapeutic progress by supporting gradual self-expression.