Parent child contact problems—Re‐connecting the dots through a somatic lens

Abstract Parent child contact problems (PCCP) and parental alienation (PA) occupy much time for family law professionals especially as parents might use the term PA loosely, for the parent allegedly doing PA and the parent experiencing PA. Negotiating safety, connection and distance are fundamental to PCCP. Gardner's single‐factor model, useful for observable behaviors, is bathed in blame, often obscuring where timely interventions may best be effective. This paper discusses how a somatic psychology lens contributes more depth to the multi‐factor model and the vortex of resist‐refuse dynamics and the alienated child's response. By understanding the body's Window of Tolerance, capacity, neuroception, the four automatic threat responses—fight, flight, freeze and fawn—empathic distress, burn out and the catastrophic cusp, we propose that a child's reflexive support of the favored parent could be fawning and indicate trauma bonding and co‐dependence. Somatics holds that trauma is not in the event but the lack of empathic witnessing providing co‐regulation; changing how responsibility is conceptualized. Further, somatics helps us to repair relational ruptures and return to the Green Zone of tolerance, flexibility and resilience. Understanding the biological basis of connection and rupture is valuable for family law professionals working with this population.