Two Developmentally Informed Therapeutic Models for Social Rejection in Middle Childhood and Adolescence: The “From Me to We” Paradigm

Social rejection is one of the most painful experiences in childhood and adolescence; however, its developmental origins and clinical meaning differ significantly across developmental stages. This paper presents a developmental–psychodynamic framework for understanding social rejection, distinguishing between latency and adolescence, and proposes a distinct therapeutic model for each stage. During latency, the central developmental task is the formation of a new dimension of the self—the “social collective self” —which develops within the peer group, particularly in the classroom context. Following the resolution of the Oedipal conflict and the consolidation of separation processes, early developmental contents are organised within the “core self” and rendered inaccessible to conscious awareness through defensive processes. Concurrently, the psychological focus shifts toward the social–collective dimension, which is characterised by a different quality than earlier libidinal investments. This process enables a developmental transition from an egocentric position rooted in the “core self” (a “ME” state) toward a group-oriented position organised around a classroom “WE.” When this transition fails to occur, the child’s capacity to integrate into the peer social field is compromised, often resulting in social rejection. For this stage, an intervention model— Envelope Therapy —is presented as a brief, structured approach aimed at facilitating active participation and group belonging. In adolescence, a complementary yet more complex developmental process takes place, involving a renewed inward movement from the social–collective dimension toward the “core self” as part of identity formation. At this stage, social rejection reflects difficulties within one of the dimensions of the self, or in their integration. The paper introduces an integrative therapeutic model based on projective work with internalised social figures from both past and present. Both models are grounded in the developmental framework of the “From Me to We” paradigm and are illustrated through clinical case vignettes.