“Left Speechless in Front of My Children”: A Thematic Analysis of Parents’ Experiences During War & Displacement

Abstract The October 7, 2023, terrorist attack in Israel and ensuing mass displacement created acute, unprecedented psychological crises for families. While the impact of war and forced migration on children is well documented, far less is known about how parents, especially mothers, sustain caregiving under such extreme, ongoing threat. This study explores the lived experiences of displaced Israeli mothers, focusing on the emotional, relational, and functional dimensions of parenting during and after trauma. In-depth, semi-structured interviews were conducted with four Israeli mothers displaced with their children following the attack. Interviews were transcribed verbatim and analyzed thematically using an inductive approach, with particular attention to emotional narratives, caregiving practices, and perceptions of both destroyed homes and hosting environments. Three themes emerged: (A) Alone in the Shelter: The Weight of Solo Parenting During Attack, War, and Displacement; (B) From Regulated Parenting to Fragmented Parenting; and (C) The Double-Edged Sword of the Hosting Community. Together, they depict intense emotional strain, destabilized parental identities, children’s accelerated maturity or increased dependency, and ambivalent experiences of host communities as simultaneously protective and destabilizing. Parenting in this context entails both relentless protection and gradual emotional erosion. Mothers oscillated between composure and collapse, often with limited systemic support. The findings underscore the need for trauma-informed, relationally grounded interventions that recognize caregivers as survivors in their own right and prioritize their emotion regulation, reflective functioning, and restoration of parental coherence as central to family recovery.