‘Good-looking, good in bed, and good to talk to’: Toward a two-dimensional model of sexual capital

This article refines the concept of sexual capital in sexual field theory to account for a wider range of sexual practices and relationship trajectories. Moving beyond previous theorizations that privilege visually perceived sexual desirability while often overlooking sexual performance and the socially valued qualities that shape relational development, I propose a two-dimensional model comprising sexual desirability and social desirability. Sexual desirability refers to the ability to evoke others’ willingness to engage in sex, based on attributes such as physical appearance, affective characteristics, sociocultural styles, and sexual performance. Social desirability refers to attributes and behaviors regarded as socially and culturally preferable, which contribute to attraction and relational development. Drawing on empirical data from a research project on urban middle-class gay men’s online dating practices in China, I illustrate how the two-dimensional model helps explain the process of ‘desire sorting,’ through which participants navigated sexual and relational possibilities ranging from casual sex to long-term commitment. The analysis suggests that while sexual desirability plays a strong role in initial encounters, social desirability—assessed in terms of factors such as communication competence, education, trustworthiness, and the ability to inspire a sense of safety—often shapes whether relationships progress beyond casual sex. The two-dimensional model explains not only attraction in anonymous and short-term contexts but also the formation of enduring partnerships. Theoretically, this reconceptualization extends sexual field theory by incorporating the interplay between bodily and social value. Practically, it offers a flexible tool for examining sexual hierarchies in diverse cultural and technological settings.