“I Can Feel that You Love Me”: Approximating Affectionate Touch in Long-Distance Romantic Relationships

Affectionate touch is beneficial for romantic relationships, but some couples (e.g., those who are long-distance) cannot physically touch. In this project, we introduce “touch-adjacent behaviors,” gestures that approximate affectionate touch without physical contact. We demonstrate that “mimed touch” (i.e., acting out touch; e.g., blowing kisses over video chat) and “expressed touch” (i.e., statements that convey touch through language; e.g., texting “I wish I could hug you”) are utilized by long-distance partners and are endorsed as a form of perceived compensation for relationship distance. We also characterize the people most likely (e.g., those who use other forms of affection) and least likely (e.g., avoidantly attached individuals) to use these behaviors. Finally, we establish that mimed and expressed touch co-occur with relationship quality and provide preliminary evidence that these links are stronger for people with higher attachment avoidance. This research suggests touch-adjacent behaviors are common and potentially beneficial in long-distance relationships.