The meaning of being suicidal - a reflective lifeworld research

PURPOSE: What drives a person towards death and what it entails to try to kill oneself is not fully understood. This study aimed to examine suicidality as a phenomenon, and to elucidate the essential meaning of being suicidal. METHODS: Applying Reflective Lifeworld Research, the phenomenon of being suicidal was explored through interviews with seven adult suicide attempt survivors (4 men, 3 women; aged 18-54) with various diagnoses. Interviews were analysed using meaning-oriented analysis. RESULTS: constitutes the essence of being suicidal. Being suicidal is a movement from everyday struggle for meaning and value in a perceived meaningless existence, into a fixed suicidal isolation marked by unbearable psychological pain, conviction of worthlessness and exclusion, paralyzing forces and cognitive-existential shutdown. The transition from thought to action is shaped in silent solitude by the incentive of death rather than will or choice. The inner drive towards death appears as a compelling, liberating, inevitable force impossible to resist on one's own. CONCLUSION: This study provides deep understanding about the suicidal mind which may be used in development of assessment instruments and interventions for suicide prevention.