Dialectic of connection and separation in “respect”: how face is related to politeness

Abstract This paper examines respect ( ehterām ) in Persian doctor–patient interaction as a moral–relational practice through which politeness evaluations and face are jointly constituted in interaction. While post-discursive politeness research has reconceptualised politeness as an evaluative judgement grounded in moral accountability, the relationship between such evaluations and the interactional constitution of interpersonal relations has remained under-theorised. Drawing on Face Constituting Theory, this study conceptualises respect as a dialectical relational achievement grounded in the ongoing co-instantiation of connection-with and separation-from others. The analysis is based on naturally occurring Persian medical consultations, with a focus on opening sequences, address forms, and participation frameworks. Three opening encounters demonstrate distinct calibrations of respect – namely, warm and elaborated, hierarchically restrained, and minimally procedural – each realised through different configurations of the connection–separation dialectic. A contrastive case traces the progressive destabilisation and eventual collapse of this relational buffer zone, showing how disrespect emerges through cumulative interactional pressures and blocked relational calibration. The findings advance a post-discursive pragmatics account of respect that integrates moral evaluation with relational constitution, positioning respect as the analytic nexus linking politeness and face.