Dating dynamics and control strategies in selected Nigerian digital matchmaking shows

The proliferation of digital matchmaking culture in Nigeria has led to widespread acceptance of social media as a space for understanding how cognition and power define intimate relationships. This study examines how potential dates deploy discourse structures and strategies to negotiate preferences and underpin ideologies around gender nuances and compatibility. The study anchors van Dijk’s Socio-cognitive Model of Critical Discourse Analysis, complemented by Kimberlé Crenshaw’s Intersectionality Theory, to probe eleven purposively selected interactions from Cruise, an African-based YouTube show. Three matchmaking shows released between April and August 2025 are selected for their thematic relevance and representations of young Lagos-based Nigerians. Findings reveal that individuals ride on deal breakers, shared values and physical traits to navigate dating choices. Toxic dynamics and control tactics are deployed as strategies of dominance over potential dates. The interactions are marked by eight discourse patterns and contextual resources: narrative sequencing, topicalisation, inference, turn-taking, positive self-presentation/negative other-presentation, shared situation, reference and polarization. The study demonstrates that Nigerian online matchmaking shows function as both entertainment and ideologically laden sites where desirability, identity, social expectations and power are discursively asserted and negotiated. The study offers insights into how online-mediated romance discourse in contemporary Nigerian context shapes evolving relationship norms.