On Tolstoy’s question about the meaning of life

Tolstoy’s A Confession recounts his struggles with nihilism and the question of the meaning of life, as well as his conversion to Christianity. On the usual philosophical reading, Tolstoy’s question about the meaning of life is answered by the faith to which he comes after reason fails to provide an answer. This paper complicates that reading. It argues that Tolstoy’s question is not straightforwardly in need of an answer, such as the answer provided by faith or that given by philosophical nihilism. The argument shows that behind philosophical questioning such as Tolstoy’s, and driving it, is an attenuated sense of belonging to the world. In Tolstoy’s case, this breakdown in belonging is expressed in the dream that he recounts at the end of A Confession and is addressed by his coming to feel at home in the world again. Tolstoy’s example demonstrates how struggles with philosophical nihilism and questions about the meaning of life can reflect – and be addressed by – changes in our lived sense of being (not) at home in the world. This paper seeks to establish what that lived sense of belonging is and what is involved in changing it, thereby identifying precisely what it is that puts questioning like Tolstoy’s to rest.