The Joy and the Pain of Being Alone: Managing the Solitude-Loneliness (SOLO) Paradox in People High on the Autism Spectrum

This narrative review examines the complex relationship between autism and two fundamental social needs: the need to belong and the need to be alone, which underpin the conceptually distinct experiences of loneliness and solitude. After outlining core features of autism spectrum disorder-focusing on characteristic patterns of social functioning across the spectrum-we synthesize evidence showing that individuals with autism frequently report elevated loneliness alongside a comparatively stronger preference for solitude than typically developing peers. We conceptualize this seemingly counterintuitive pattern as the solitude-loneliness (SOLO) paradox. We propose that, within the autistic population, loneliness emerges from the dynamic interplay among social-communication differences, sensory hypersensitivity and related neurocognitive characteristics, coping strategies, and the chronic frustration of unmet social needs. Extending this framework, we explore how the SOLO paradox may, in some cases, contribute to more severe or maladaptive outcomes, including extreme social withdrawal (hikikomori) and problematic internet use. We conclude by discussing directions for future research, emphasizing the importance of translating conceptual advances into supportive strategies that meaningfully enhance the well-being of individuals on the autism spectrum.