The Zimmerman Conjecture on Optimal Human Flourishing: A First-Principles Derivation (v2.1 — Geometric Closure)

v2.1 — Geometric Closure The theory is not regional. It is not bilateral. It is global. This version documents fourteen independent cultural instantiations of the Porch Lagrangian — from Japan to Jamaica, from Germany to the Philippines — each arriving at the same ground state through completely separate trajectories. New in v2.1: Appendix C: The Global Lagrangians — 14 cultural variants including izakaya (Japan), biergarten (Germany), boteco (Brazil), cantina (Mexico), pub (UK/Australia), dhaba (India), and more Third Corollary: The geometry closes Global Closure Theorem demonstrating gauge invariance under cultural transformation The invariant across all cultures: Maillard protein + cold fermented beverage + communal music + sides + love = ground state Fourteen cultures. One equation. The Porch Lagrangian is human. Status: The mountains are blue. All systems go.