Knowing versus Doing: How Much Can Training Help People Soften the Blow of Social Rejection?

People complain that they do not know what to say to soften the blow of social rejection. The adoption of language principles (i.e., avoiding apologies while using positive regard, sincere alternatives, and more words) may mitigate the negative consequences of social rejection. Does training help people independently exhibit greater communication skill or do people fail to perform despite "knowing better?" In Study 1, drift diffusion modeling suggested that training helped people "know it when they see it" (i.e., recognize precrafted wording options which better conveyed the language principles). Study 2 found that training aided people's success in independently crafting wording to convey the language principles. The current research highlights that existing social rejector frameworks and previous research on skill acquisition do not capture the experience of nonpunitive rejectors and presents a way that psychological science can address people's concerns about how to soften the blow of social rejection.

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Publication Details

Journal
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
Published
2026-04-24
DOI
https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672261439420
Primary Topic
Death Anxiety and Social Exclusion
Type
article
Field-Weighted Citation Impact
0.00

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article

Knowing versus Doing: How Much Can Training Help People Soften the Blow of Social Rejection?

Gili Freedman, Jennifer S. Beer, Sydney Okland
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
Death Anxiety and Social Exclusion
article

Knowing versus Doing: How Much Can Training Help People Soften the Blow of Social Rejection?

Gili Freedman, Jennifer S. Beer, Sydney Okland
article en

Abstract

People complain that they do not know what to say to soften the blow of social rejection. The adoption of language principles (i.e., avoiding apologies while using positive regard, sincere alternatives, and more words) may mitigate the negative consequences of social rejection. Does training help people independently exhibit greater communication skill or do people fail to perform despite "knowing better?" In Study 1, drift diffusion modeling suggested that training helped people "know it when they see it" (i.e., recognize precrafted wording options which better conveyed the language principles). Study 2 found that training aided people's success in independently crafting wording to convey the language principles. The current research highlights that existing social rejector frameworks and previous research on skill acquisition do not capture the experience of nonpunitive rejectors and presents a way that psychological science can address people's concerns about how to soften the blow of social rejection.

Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
St. Mary's College of Maryland (US), The University of Texas at Austin (US)
Division of Behavioral and Cognitive Sciences
Quality Education
Openalex Percentile: Top 10%
Death Anxiety and Social Exclusion
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Knowing versus Doing: How Much Can Training Help People Soften the Blow of Social Rejection? — Gili Freedman, Jennifer S. Beer, et al. · Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (2026) | TGRS Research Map | TGRS