Deference and Advice

Reasons of partiality are typically seen as reasons to give our intimates priority over strangers. In his most recent work, however, Samuel Scheffler cautions against an exclusive emphasis on partiality and the reasons it provides. He introduces a new type of relationship-dependent reasons that he thinks we should take more seriously: reasons of deference. In this paper, I critically engage with Scheffler’s claim that reasons of deference amount to a distinct hallmark of intimate relationships. I argue that reasons of deference need to be complemented by another type of relationship-dependent reason: reasons to provide advice to one’s intimate. After showing what such reasons involve, I demonstrate that they function as important barriers that protect us from unjustifiedly deferring to the reasons of our intimates. Conversely, our reasons for deference can protect us from being overly critical of our intimates and thereby advising them poorly.