Silence Over Safety: An Autoethnography about Domestic Violence and Betrayal in U.S. Conservative Christian Culture

Domestic violence encompasses more than enduring numerous incidents of assault and forms of harm. Survivors must also navigate speaking up and the (often unhelpful) responses they receive to their disclosures. For those who identify as spiritual or religious, in addition to harms and betrayal by the partner, there may also exist harms, betrayals, and a lack of support by the institution of the church. This can include harm from both the religious leadership and fellow congregants. Finding oneself situated in a patriarchal culture that values the silence of women over their safety leaves no ideal choices. Survivors must balance personal faith and desired connection to a religious community with self-preservation. To reduce harm, one must sometimes escape both the abuse and the church. This article utilizes autoethnography to critically examine how religious expectations for meek and silent women within a culture of compliance create environments conducive to abuse and betrayal. The abuses exposed in this article reveal the vulnerabilities of DV survivors in religious spaces. The resulting examination of power dynamics within this particular social structure will empower additional ways of understanding DV and institutional harm. By inserting the researcher into this topic of study, autoethnography brings it up close and personal.