Embrace Difference, Challenge Normativity: Towards a Neuroqueerinformed Ethic for Supporting Autistic Adults' Intimate Lives

Research consistently shows that autistic people are more likely to identify outside of cisgender heterosexuality, highlighting the importance of supporting autistic people beyond neuronormative and heteronormative relationship imperatives. This paper explores autistic adults’ perspectives, using queer and neuroqueer theory, to examine how heteronormativity and neuronormativity operate together to constrain autistic people's intimate lives. It also considers how neurodivergence can open alternative, affirming possibilities for intimate relationships and support. Five asynchronous, text-based focus groups were conducted with a diverse sample of 46 autistic adults. Facilitated by an autistic researcher over 6 weeks, these were anonymous, autistic-only spaces. Data analysis included a participatory coanalysis phase. This enabled a rigorous, neuroinclusive qualitative research design that accommodated queer temporalities and enabled attention to intersectional experience. Findings show how neuronormativity and heteronormativity combine to constrain people's intimate lives over the life course, and how autistic people often bring a neuroqueering criticality to these norms. The findings reinforce the importance of care professionals moving beyond heteronormative, neuronormative, ableist understandings of sex and relationships to support autistic people to do relationships in ways that work for them. The paper offers concrete recommendations for practice and advances a neuroqueer ethic of care relevant to health and care systems globally.