“I Think I’m Really Well-Equipped to be a Parent”: Autistic Parents’ Experiences of Parenting Autistically

Background: Although research has begun to examine the experiences of parents who are themselves Autistic, our understanding of Autistic parents’ perceptions of themselves as Autistic parents remains limited. While studies have documented the unique challenges Autistic parents face, and some have sought to capture the quality of Autistic parent–child relationships, few have sought to understand how Autistic parents parent Autistically. Methods: Here, 40 Autistic parents of Autistic children completed semistructured interviews to answer the questions: what characterizes Autistic parents’ experiences of parenting, and how do Autistic parents conceptualize an Autistic approach to parenting? Participant responses were analyzed using reflexive thematic analysis, employing an inductive approach. Results: We developed three themes, encompassing the challenges and affordances of being an Autistic parent, and the parenting strategies that Autistic parents employed. The parents in this study identified challenges when their own Autistic needs differed from their child’s. They spoke about the difficulties of parenting with alexithymia and the toll of perfectionism and rumination, which were exacerbated by external stigma and judgment (Theme 1). Yet, being Autistic also brought benefits, and parents felt that sharing an identity with their Autistic child, judgment-free curiosity, and a passionate interest in parenting and autism, all fostered loving connections with their children (Theme 2). Finally, parents spoke of ways of engaging with their children that they felt were uniquely Autistic, including being honest and vulnerable with their children, listening to their children and respecting their autonomy and dignity, and resisting conventional parenting approaches that did not suit Autistic needs (Theme 3). Conclusion: We show that, while Autistic parents undoubtedly face challenges, they can also perceive themselves to be excellent parents, with specific strengths and strategies that benefit their child. Our findings are vital for researchers and clinicians to support Autistic parents to mitigate specific challenges and to flourish as parents.