“I Feel Locked Out the Community”: The Experience of Community for Rural-Living Fisters

Research has highlighted the important role that communities of kink play in the social and sexual lives of kinksters. Existing literature has not examined the experience of community for rural and remote-living kink-identified individuals, where access to communities, networks of playmates, and spaces for kink may be limited by virtue of social and geographic isolation. The aim of this study was to explore the lived experience of community among self-identified cisgender gay men who engage in fist-fucking and live in rural areas. A qualitative study was conducted with a multi-national sample of 40 fist-fuckers, each of whom participated in an online semi-structured individual interview. Guided by a interpretative phenomenological analysis of the data, six themes were developed: (1) the experience of isolation in the formative journey of self-discovery; (2) geographic, logistical, and financial burdens in accessing community; (3) feelings of (dis)connection from the community and the struggle for kink identity; (4) the absence of community networks and resources in supporting healthcare needs; (5) the opportunities and challenges of online communities and connections; and (6) the lack of communal spaces and local networks of partners in fostering sexual satisfaction. The findings revealed that participants shared lived experiences of personal isolation, sexual frustration, and social exclusion from urban-based fisting communities. For some fist-fuckers, their rural-living circumstances produced not only social and sexual dislocations from their communities but, also, a disconnectedness from their kink identity. For others, the remoteness of their living contexts forged new modes of online community building, strategies for sexual and erotic resilience, and experiences of community.