“The Shop Is Not Closed”: Sex and Sexuality Among Older Adult Daters

Single older adults are often perceived as asexual or uninterested in sexual or romantic relationships, but little research has focused on the desires of older adults, particularly those without partners. This qualitative study focused on the experiences of single older adults on the dating market to understand the role of sexual desires, preferences, and expectations for a population often assumed to be uninterested in or incapable of sexual activity. Based on semi-structured interviews with 50 single women and 50 single men, ages 60-83 (average age of women was 66.8 and 65.6 for men), this study investigated how single older adults framed desires for new sexual and romantic relationships. Results indicated that, despite physical and emotional challenges related to aging, including sexual difficulties, stereotypes about aging bodies, and limited opportunities for finding sexual partners, sexual activity remained an important aspect of developing romantic relationships for many single older adults. Both men and women recognized the impact of aging on sexual function but did not view these changes as insurmountable barriers. Rather, they expressed a desire for intimacy and adjusted their expectations to accommodate physical changes. The findings challenges agist stereotypes and highlights the need to normalize sexual desire in later life, underscoring how romantic and sexual relationships can be desired across the life course. The findings contribute to a broader understanding of older adult sexuality, particularly for those navigating the dating market, and provide insight into how aging adults perceive and prioritize sexual intimacy in relationships.