An interview with Mole

Our good friend Mole, Professor of Asymmetry at the Institute for Oblique Studies, has been a regular contributor to the journal for over 20 years, providing humorous and candid (sometimes provocative and controversial!) insights into lab life from the perspective of someone who has progressed through the academic science system. Over the years, Mole and Mole's erudite friends have provided their perspectives on challenges such as publishing papers, writing grants, setting up a lab and dealing with imposter syndrome. We caught up with Mole, over a cup of ‘tea’ of course, to find out more about being a group leader, the challenges of the academic science system, advice for junior scientists and ‘tea’ recommendations.First of all, thank you for taking time to chat with me in my Mole hole. We insectivores don't get a lot of visitors and it's lovely to see you. So, what got me interested in science? Honestly, it was my parents who started it all; I was raised taking walks in the woods and was expected to know the names of the plants and trees, whereas my sister knew every bird call. She is now a marine ornithologist and spends a lot of time in the field. I gravitated toward laboratory science because I like to live where there are good martinis.I went to school to be a theatre major. But biology was much easier, so I did that. I guess I got into cells because they are smaller than I am, so I can lord it over them (I got picked on a lot).I would have liked to have been a very highly paid influencer, although they didn't exist back then, and I'm not entirely sure what they do. Otherwise, I think I would have liked to have been a cognitive neurobiologist. They also didn't exist back then (and I'm not entirely sure what they do either).Spending money. Of course, I'm kidding. The best thing is seeing a Molet make an exciting discovery and catch fire, then go on to a great, fulfilling career.Getting the money. Of course, I'm not kidding.Throughout the years, there have been bad times and good times, with most of the time being something in between. I think we are currently in a bad time. A lot of it is our own fault; frustrated people often take things out on their peers. A scientist who chafes at being told by a reviewer that he or she has to spend months and a great many semolians (the unit of currency in Looney Tune Cartoons) doing expensive and pointless experiments tells the next scientist they review to do the same. The same goes for grants. It's the natural tit-for-tat strategy for not losing the zero-sum game. Things won't improve until we break this cycle. I suspect that will happen at some point.I would replace all but one of the administrators with an AI bot that tells me, “For research money, press one. For research space, press two. For merit promotion, press three. For all other queries, press zero. Please remain on the line,” and then it would hang up. Basically, doing the job of many administrators. For the remaining administrator, I would hire a crocodile.To me, running your own lab is the single greatest job that I can imagine. Yes, there are many frustrations (you think that musicians don't get frustrated?) and disappointments (you think that jet pilots are never disappointed?), but here's the thing: you get to explore whatever you think is interesting. Yes, you have to do this successfully, but it is all on you. Much like a small business owner, except that you only have to write papers and get grants – you don't have to actually sell anything (I know you think we ‘sell’ our research, but really, go try to run your own restaurant).With regard to advice, here's the thing. When you start your lab, you are your own best postdoc. Be in the lab. Avoid as much administrative responsibility as you can, but don't avoid teaching – this is where you are going to get your first generation of amazing trainees. At first, you will of course pursue work you did while you were training (nearly everyone does) but you have another job: find the big, interesting mystery you are going to work on going forward that will establish you and your lab as intrepid explorers of the unknown, and then go and read everything you possibly can on the subject.A while ago, we brought out a comic book about starting your own lab – it should be required reading (as it's funny, and the artwork is great; besides, it's a comic book! This is probably a good time to say thank you, Pete Jeffs, for all your great cartoons)!Probably the next one. But there are a few runners up: Comedia, Inferno I and II (on Grant Hell), A Biomolecular Carol I and II (featuring Tiny Shrew), and Noir I and II (“It was cold. Cold as an editor's smile when I'm pitching our latest work in the hotel bar at a meeting after hours.”). I also wrote a lot of Corona Files during the terrible pandemic; I think my favourites of these are The Rashomon Gate and Punctuated Equilibrium. I'm thinking of bringing The Rashomon Gate out as a movie, if someone gives me a zillion semolians.Controversy and motivated discourse are essential, not only in science but in society. The challenge is to respect opposing views and not simply ‘erase’ them as unworthy of consideration. I love it if people actually debate and don't just copy each other's angry posts (without actually reading the piece that started it). Wouldn't it be nice if we could put our heads together and actually solve some problems, or at least try to? Hey, I'm wrong all the time – it's something we have to realize as scientists and as humans (and I don't mean realize that I'm wrong a lot).Yes, of course. We all live in close proximity to Toad Hall. But I can't seem to get a hold of my great friend, Weasel. He doesn't answer emails or texts, and rarely answers the phone (he did once, but had to run). Weasel, if you're reading this, drop me a line?I know I'm supposed to say ‘JCS’ (and I really do like it, very much!) but the truth is, any non-profit journal with conscientious editors who strive to select papers that are really worth reading are my favorites. I hate to say that this excludes many of them. I read journals that publish interesting papers, and I like to read outside my fields of study. Those who only read about things they work on are missing out.If you're buying, a peaty Scottish whisky.You don't look a day over 90!Really and truly, I have eaten insects. They're pretty good. I think Simba called them ‘slimy but satisfying’ (but the ones I have eaten were deep-fried; anything is good deep-fried).