Today You Become a Man

Today You Become a Man is a memoir in essays about growing up as a first son under the weight of Igbo patriarchy. Set in 1980s and ’90s Enugu, Nigeria, the book follows my childhood relationship with my father, a drunk, Americanized version of an Igbo man, and how that shaped the way I came to understand what it meant to be male. Through essays that move back and forth in time, the memoir looks at the roles played by my mother, sisters, extended family, and especially my father, in shaping how I saw myself and what was expected of me. The final essay returns to my father’s burial, where the training continues. At the center of the book is a question: what does it cost to be raised as a symbol of tradition, and how does that shape the men first sons become?