After the Bullets: Managing a Mass Shooting Resource Center Explored Through Autoethnography

The rate of mass shootings has more than doubled over the past 10 years in the United States (Gun Violence Archive, 2024). The focus of this study was a thorough exploration of my personal experiences in designing a response center after a mass shooting occurred in Boulder, Colorado. This study utilized a qualitative narrative inquiry form of research methodology called autoethnography. Autoethnography has been utilized to capture more than the raw data collected, but to offer a more expansive and detailed description of a unique experience. The following research questions were studied: Q1 What might I learn about my own trauma experience in my work as a doctoral student designing and managing a mass shooting resource center? Q2 What might other counselors and counselor educators learn about their own shifts in world view that may occur while working in mass shooting response centers? The purpose of this study was to review my experience through data collection to learn more about my experience of trauma and provide insight to other counselors and counselor educators. Data were collected through journals, developmental timelines, evocative vignettes, and published media. The data were analyzed, and themes emerged such as patterns of hypervigilance, nightmares, shifts in beliefs, and world view. Data were analyzed further through the theoretical lenses of attachment theory and polyvagal theory.