"This is Who I am. If I Could Change it, I Would, But I Can't.": The Illusion of Choice in Disclosing Past Experiences of Intimate Partner Violence to a Current Romantic Partner

Many people around the world experience abuse in their romantic relationships, and this can have long-lasting effects on their well-being. Talking about these past experiences with a new partner can sometimes be an important step in healing. This study explored how and why people choose to share their history of intimate partner violence with a current partner. Fourteen people who had experienced such abuse took part in interviews about their decision to tell their romantic partner. This study found that experiencing abuse in the past can change peoples' identities in both positive and negative ways. The research found that these past experiences deeply affected how people saw themselves and how they handled the idea of telling someone new because of the stigma they experienced. However, some people may have decided to tell their romantic partner because they felt like they had to before their romantic partner found out in some other way. This research found that it didn’t matter why the person decided to tell their romantic partner, telling their partner about their experiences helped them to make sense of their experience in ways they were not previously able to and helped them heal from those experiences, especially when they felt support from their partners after they told them about their abuse experiences.