Goodbye, Zoning?

American zoning is under attack on multiple fronts. The concerns of zoning's many critics range from social and racial justice, to private property rights, to the extreme shortage of affordable housing, to climate-change resilience and sustainability. A growing number of voices have called for, at a minimum, the elimination of single-family zones; some even champion the abolition of this ubiquitous method of American land use regulation. This Article is the first detailed look at what would happen if zoning's critics got their way. The most efficient means for erasing zoning from American law would be for the U.S. Supreme Court to find it unconstitutional, so this Article features excerpts from three fictitious Supreme Court opinions that reflect the jurisprudence of today's iteration of the Roberts Court. Unfortunately for those who see the elimination of zoning as a magic bullet for many of society's ills, a judicial declaration that zoning violates the protections afforded by the Due Process, Takings, Equal Protection, and Contracts Clauses would only result in the recreation of some of zoning's most problematic aspects, bringing American society back to square one. Moreover, eliminating classic ("Euclidean") zoning would invalidate modern modifications that respond to current socioeconomic and environmental conditions. Rather than waving goodbye to zoning, this Article offers four achievable steps that local and state governments can take today to continue the longstanding process of adapting zoning (the good and the not-so-good) to changing realities.