Defensiveness and Accountability in Couple Relationships: A Constructivist Grounded Theory Analysis

Defensiveness is empirically well documented as a factor in breakup and divorce which have wide ranging consequences for adults and affected children, however, little research exists on what Gottman has called the antidote to defensiveness which is taking an accurate amount of accountability. The purpose of this study was to use qualitative methods to illuminate the microprocesses which take place between partners in interactions regarding accountability and defensiveness. The data was taken from part of a larger project on healthy and unhealthy relationships where semi-structured interviews were conducted from a diverse sample recruited through convenience and theoretical sampling. Constructivist grounded theory methods were used to code, generate, and refine prominent categories from the data. A final model was created to visualize the interaction patterns described by participants in the study. Results showed that defensiveness and accountability are influenced by individual factors such as physiological wellbeing, past history, mental health, and a sense of safety in the relationship as well as interactional factors such as the tone of approach when dealing with conflict, avoiding responsibility, self-awareness, and respecting one's partner. Results were compared to and found to be in line with past research on and adjacent to defensiveness and accountability. Implications for understanding of the processes of accountability and defensiveness as well as for future research and clinical application are discussed.