Walk Into the Unknown

It was cold that morning.Before we'd left the house mama bundled me in my coat and an old wool hat that belonged to daddy."It's freezing, Clara."She said the words not looking at me.Too concerned with my baby brother Benny's crying, she looked over my head at the basket he laid in.When I turned, I could hardly move from the weight and bulk of all the clothes.I saw Benny's hands and feet waving above the sides of the big bassinet sitting on the kitchen table.I looked at mama and my stomach flopped.She was singing Sweet Afton to the baby, but her voice shook as she brought the notes forth into the early morning in our cold little house.Mama moved from one side of the room to the other without looking at either the baby or me and I stood still waiting for her to tell me what to do.I thought she was looking for something the way she paced from the stove to her and daddy's room.She came out with nothing she hadn't gone in with, her hair loose hanging down around her waist.I held one of her socks and she wore the other.When I asked what she was looking for she stopped singing, took the sock from my mittened hands and smiled down at me. "I'm sorry for bein' so short with ya this mornin' Clara," she apologized, putting the sock and her boots on while she stood, herself against the wall, looking from me to the now sleeping baby."We've got t' get to Aunt Holly's house."Holly was Mama's youngest sister, they had two others that died giving birth to their first babies, and now that Holly was ready to have hers, she could hardly be consoled.Mama, who had two of us without much trouble, was terrified for her last living sister, but tried not to let it show.She told Holly that she'd be alright and there wasn't anything to having a baby but pushing and holding on.Mama made me leave the room whenever talk of babies started, I was only 5, but I always liked to listen and heard them on the walk home from church one Sunday when they thought I was lagging behind.Holly's husband, Uncle John, and Daddy had gone into town and got caught in a snowstorm that no one saw coming.As the hours went by it only got worse, and all-night Mama stayed awake worrying about Holly all alone on the farm except for Martha, a