The “self ” particle: A time traveler's account of how one doctorate in music composition would have benefited from a better awareness of autoethnography

This chapter uses evocative autoethnography to present a reflexive account of elements of the author’s work on a practice-led, Doctor of Music degree in composition between 2015 and 2019. With the aim of recognizing and embracing the benefits of a fully nonlinear approach to research and composition, the account employs a creative fusion of fiction and fact (i.e., faction) to reimagine reality from the perspective of a time traveler. While it is inspired by scientific inquiry, the concept of time travel is implemented only as a vehicle for a more vivid and engaging presentation of the author’s experiences as a composer-researcher striving for a healthy relationship between theory, practice, and poiesis (Aristotle’s notion of the making, the production of art). A key reason for this narrative design is to explore, as a post mortem, how the doctorate could have been improved had the author been more aware of autoethnography and its purpose to communicate in a style more direct, imaginative, and engaging—from a more personal point of view. Periodically assuming a conversational style, the paper is also a statement in support of including in autoethnography-guided research ideas sparked by looser, though not entirely free, association with the main topic. They have the potential of making the story less sterile and more vivid. Included are references to two of the compositions from the author’s DMus portfolio to connect theory to practice: Eight for piano, string quartet, and electronics (2017) and Intensity X for soprano saxophone, electric guitar, two violins, and electronics (2019).