Finding Love on the Spectrum: An Analysis of Social and Romantic Relationships of Autistic College Students

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is characterized by difficulties in socialization, communication, and developing relationships with others. While many autistic individuals desire to start relationships with others, many do not have a very strong understanding of the use of nonverbal communication or how to develop these connections organically. As autistic individuals have become more open about wanting these resources to form social and romantic relationships, there has been more of a push in the literature to include social skills training for forming social relationships. However, the research on the desire for or development of romantic relationships for autistic individuals is still somewhat limited in comparison. The few studies that have been conducted have placed an emphasis on the romantic relationship experiences of autistic women but have focused on their failures rather than their successes. In addition, these studies have been excluding the experiences of autistic men, further supporting the notion that autistic men are not interested in romantic relationships. The lack of research focus in this area continues to support the notion that autistic adults do not have any romantic interest, which continues to limit the number of appropriate resources. Without having any form of guidebook or learned knowledge about romantic relationships, it makes it more challenging for autistic adults to find successful relationships, which may lead to higher rates of distress or loneliness over time. The current study aimed to identify the shared experiences and common themes found in the romantic and social relationships of autistic college students using deductive and inductive coding of qualitative interviews. Results indicated that being on the autism spectrum caused difficulties when pursuing both social and romantic relationships, particularly with communication. Those who were not in romantic relationships shared that they generally desired romantic relationships but had challenges with the pursuit of these connections, especially with communication. Participants in romantic relationships identified that their partners were either autistic and/or that they were able to understand the communication challenges that their partner may experience due to their diagnosis. This study highlighted the diverse experiences within the gender, racial, and sexual identities of autistic college students, which have not been included in previous studies. These findings support the growing idea that autistic adults are interested in romantic relationships, but that they face additional challenges due to their diagnosis.