Good Grief: Representations of the Death of Children in Early American Writings

From the spare journals of John Winthrop and William Bradford to the Day of Doom exhortation of Michael Wigglesworth, one can see the basis for a commonly held image of the early Puritan colonists as being a stern, humorless community. This is not inconsistent with the theological underpinnings of the Puritans' faith. Further, some research, such as that by John Demos and Karin Calvert, has concluded that the children of these colonists were not accorded the status of individuals; rather they were variously held at an emotional distance or otherwise marginalized, in part because of the very real threat of their deaths. I believe this is too narrow a view, one that is not supported by a deeper examination of the texts of early American writers. It is my contention that the diaries, sermons, poetry and other narratives of writers from 1620 to 1800 belie the stereotype of reserved, unemotional Puritans and colonists. Through an examination of these texts, with specific attention to the representations of the death of children, this paper will reveal a rich supply of examples of the joy and anguish parents' felt for their children and the deep grief and emotion evident as they coped with the death of their children. Rather than reflecting an emotionally detached parent-child relationship, these texts reveal the opposite. The texts do reveal a tension, however. These people were looking for good grief, for a way to accommodate the deaths of their children and to express their grief within the teachings of their faith and within the bounds of social mores. This struggle is evident in their diaries, sermons and other writings, and while the specific Puritan theology evolves into a more ecumenical representation, the essential truth that children are the hope and future of families and society is consistently represented in these writings.