“I am still incredibly angry, aggressive, and at the same time somehow on the brink of tears […].”: Gaining ‘emotionally-sensed knowledge’ as a Participant Observer in a Social Work Context

This working paper reflects on doing research amongst social workers involving confrontations with emotionally difficult topics and on the role of emotions in anthropological fieldwork. Despite some advances, emotions remain a crucial and yet relatively underreported topic in scientific writing and an underexplored area of methodological training. I draw on research I conducted in Lindi, a small town on the South-eastern coast of Tanzania as part of a larger fieldwork project on parenthood, parenting and planning for ‘better future(s)’ through, with and for children, during which I carried out six weeks of participant observation in the local Social Welfare Office. A majority of cases concerned family strife, often surrounding the dissolution of relationships and ensuing conflicts about child support and custody. Bearing witness to family conflict and being part of highly-charged counselling situations took an emotional toll on me, changing my perceptions of the field and my research participants. Lacking professional training in the area of social work, I had aimed at being mostly an observer; however, I often became an unwilling and uneasy participant, drawn into ongoing confrontations by clients and social welfare officers alike. I will reflect on emotions as a factor in anthropological research, investigating how a researcher’s emotions can be translated into ‘emotionally-sensed knowledge’. Finally, I argue for a better integration of these issues into academic training and writing, especially for the sake of early career researchers who might find it particularly difficult to unsettle ‘professional conventions’ in their work.