The Role of Law in Gay Men’s Decision to Pursue Parenthood in the United States

For many, starting a family and becoming a parent are significant life events, often anticipated from a young age. While some choose not to have children, this choice typically assumes the freedom to decide-an option that was often unavailable to the current cohort of midlife and older gay men throughout much of their lives. This study examines how U.S. law shaped the ways in which these men understood, imagined, or ruled out parenthood during periods of limited legal recognition and restricted family rights. Using narrative analysis, the study centers on the reflections of childless gay men ages 50-72 to examine how legal constraints, particularly surrounding marriage and family formation, influenced life-course decisions and perceptions of possibility. Findings show that law not only constrained access to parenthood but also shaped participants' sense of whether parenthood was realistic, viable, or socially legitimate. Reflections on subsequent legal shifts, including the legalization of same-sex marriage, elicited complex responses, combining personal loss with optimism for younger generations of gay men who can now more readily pursue parenthood. The study highlights how law shapes not only structural access to family formation but also perceptions of self and imagined futures, and it calls for further research on how differing legal contexts continue to structure gay men's pathways to parenthood around the world.