‘It’s almost as good as going to a very good concert!’: But is everyone invited? Examining the cultural world of the Death Café neo-tribe

Death Café is a not-for-profit social franchise created in the United Kingdom in 2011. At a Death Café, people, usually strangers, gather to talk about death in an unstructured, informal manner over a cup of coffee and a slice of cake. This article, based on ethnographically informed research into Death Cafés across the United Kingdom, applies a neo-tribal lens to describe this social phenomenon. First, it demonstrates how the four neo-tribal features of shared sentiment, rituals and behaviours, fluidity in membership, and space manifest at a Death Café. Then it presents the demographics of this neo-tribe and shows that that public forum privileges certain middle-class norms and views relating to death, specifically of verbal communication, control and individualism in pursuit of ‘good death’. Furthermore, it examines an attitude encountered during fieldwork that organising Death Cafés dedicated to specific communities, such as LGBTQI+ or BAME, goes against the ethos of openness and accessibility of Death Café. This criticism is based on a perception, common among Death Café proponents, that shared mortality is an exceptionally strong bonding agent among individuals who are otherwise strangers. However, it presents a paradox for the self-identity of the Death Café neo-tribe: many claim that the appeal of Death Café is that anyone can attend the Death Café event, which results in the ability to hear diverse stories and encounter complete strangers. However, this narrative often overestimates the cultural and social diversity encountered in Death Café meetings, and the appeal that having such a conversation universally has. This article responds to a recent call to interrogate the power relations, conflict, and forms of distinction within neo-tribal sociations that have often been underplayed in favour of the emphasis on the inclusive and consensual aspects of neo-tribal lifestyles or occasions.