How Older Parents Cope With Estrangement From Adult Children: A Qualitative Study

Intergenerational estrangement is a new but growing field of research. Studies have suggested that estrangement is associated with negative emotional outcomes, especially for older parents. This study explored how older parents cope with being estranged from their children. In-depth interviews with 15 older parents ( M = 83 years), seven fathers and eight mothers, were conducted to gain insights into coping responses. Participants were recruited via purposive sampling. Inspired by the intergenerational ambivalence perspective and the dual process model of coping with bereavement, the study identified two primary coping orientations: (a) reconciliation-oriented coping, aimed at reestablishing contact with children, and (b) acceptance-oriented coping, aimed at coming to terms with the estrangement. Avoidance was identified as a third coping orientation that did not fit the theoretical framework. Parents were found to oscillate between all three coping orientations.