Epistemic Justice, Navigating a Moving Horizon

As a participatory action researcher, I guided a team at a children’s hospital to develop learning during the bedside ward round. Yet, no sooner than at the end of the research I realised that I was not so much the emancipating guide I thought I was. Instead, I re-enacted the hierarchical pattern. In this autoethnography I aim to explore my capacity to respond to the ethical and activist call for epistemic justice. The co-authors and I jointly analysed the emerging patterns through the lens of complexity theory and theories of desire. I recognised that as a participant in a complex system I couldn’t control that all stakeholders were acknowledged as knowers by bringing them together. I participated in the pattern of the ward by sometimes moving along with existing hierarchical interaction patterns and at other times breaking them. My own desires for authority and belonging attuned me to similar desires in others. In hindsight I saw that desires drove participants to seek greater voice, that it was difficult to discern one’s own voice, and that the dominant voice changed per situation. Epistemic justice was not static but evolved throughout the study leading me repeatedly to revise my assumptions, I was navigating a moving horizon. I acted as a postilion d’amour, messaging experiences and assumptions participants did not dare sharing directly. In doing so, I fostered utilising everyone’s knowledge and experience, and I addressed conflicting views while maintaining connection to all. My autoethnographic story can sensitise action researchers to perceive their own participation in systemic patterns, the dynamics of hierarchy and belonging, and how they can in-fluence - though never fully control - the development of epistemic justice in research.