Closeness and disappointment in Jordanian friendships

Western folk models of friendship assume that friends like one another, implying mutually positive feelings. However, accounts of friendship from across times and places suggest that disappointment goes along with friendship as often as mutual affection. Anthropologists have noted the problem of disappointment in friendship, considering friendship's relationship with the rise of market societies and its role in resisting, or reinforcing, class status. It has yet to theorize disappointment in friendship itself. This article argues that disappointment is part of the processual maintenance of friendship, and that people negotiate it in a way that reflects broader social dynamics, including political economy. To illustrate this, it draws on ethnographic work in Jordan, where women navigate norms opposing polite insincerity ( mujamileh ) with the intimate register of admonishment ( muatibeh ). This dynamic generates myriad opportunities for disappointment, and women interpret disappointment in light of ongoing social changes that create new expectations and aspirations for women's friendships.