“I'm a Good Guy Who Deserves Better, Yet Nobody Wants to Give me Better”: The Accounts of Nice Guys

Within Western popular culture and online discourse, a “Nice Guy” is someone who enacts niceness for which they believe they are owed, deserving of, or entitled to something in return—especially the romantic or sexual attention of women. In this study, we examine the use of accounts in personal narratives told in an anonymous online discussion forum about Nice Guys. In their stories of their failed pursuits with women, the men in our study often implement elements of hybrid masculinity by framing themselves as existing outside the hegemonic masculine ideal. We conceptualize the symbolic meaning of “niceness” which, as our data suggests, is intertwined with perceived authenticity. We find that the men in the Nice Guy forum primarily offer two accounts—excuses and justifications—for their behavior toward women and their inability to “successfully” attract or date them. We also suggest two other types of accounts: (1) admissions , in which an actor admits to the pejorative quality of their action and takes full responsibility, and (2) denials , in which an actor denies both the pejorative and their responsibility for an action.