Conditional but Collaborative: Offering Offenders Voice Improves Their Engagement With the Conditions of Forgiveness

Relationships may survive transgressions by victimized relationship partners forgiving, but their forgiveness can be conditional on fulfilling stipulations. Conditional forgiveness enables victimized relationship partners to move forward in the relationship, but offending relationship partners may view it as manipulative. We examined whether offender voice in decision-making improves offending relationship partners engagement with conditional forgiveness. A recall study ( N = 291) examined offending relationship partners’ recent experiences of conditional forgiveness. Offending relationship partners who perceived greater voice in decision-making viewed those conditions as more legitimate, consensual, and reported greater compliance motivation, relationship commitment, and weaker attributions of harm. An experimental study ( N = 331) evidenced the causal effects of voice on driving greater legitimacy, compliance motivation, and weaker attributions of harm, but only if voice was given before the conditions were set, not after. Conditional forgiveness with offender voice may offer relationships greater success in achieving reconciliation and continuity after transgressions.