“Learning to stay silent”: Coping, help-seeking and mitigation strategies for intimate partner violence against men in Kenya

In heterosexual relationships, intimate partner violence (IPV) affects both men and women. However, women are more likely than men to seek help. This study used a qualitative approach to describe community perceptions on the coping and help-seeking behavior of male victims of female-perpetrated IPV. Love for their children and wives, and fear of shame, losing property and breaking the law makes men stay in abusive marriages. Avoidance, silence, submission, finding another partner, and being religious are some of the coping strategies employed. Both formal and informal reporting avenues are utilized but the latter seemed preferable. Internal and external barriers to male IPV reporting and help-seeking were underscored. Help-seeking by male IPV victims seems a taboo in a society that expects exaggerated masculinity inadvertently hindering reporting. Our findings reveal that both men and women appreciate the need for a gender-inclusive response to IPV. Despite reported shortcomings, leveraging existing easily accessible support systems such as family, community leadership, local administration, and religious institutions could be an ideal approach to start conversations about male IPV recognition and mitigation.