“My body is not mine”: A mixed methods study on trauma and the experience of embodiment

This mixed methods study examined experience of embodiment in individuals with trauma. The participants, 201 women, 13 men, and 24 gender minorities (M_age = 37.68, SD = 10.74) with trauma, completed an online questionnaire that included measures of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, experience of embodiment, and an open-ended question asking them to describe their relationship with their bodies. Quantitative findings indicated a positive association between PTSD symptoms and negative experience of embodiment. Multiple regression analyses were conducted among the women sample only, with results indicating PTSD symptoms of negative alterations in cognitions and mood as unique predictors of experience of embodiment. The qualitative findings further described the participants' relationships with their bodies through five themes: (I) The body is a place of pain, discomfort, and dissatisfaction; (II) The body and the self are separate; (III) Difficulties with the gaze of others; (IV) The trauma is in the body; and (V) Self-care, acceptance, and positive experiences of the body. We conclude that individuals with trauma report a breadth of disruptions in the way that they inhabit their bodies, yet they also attempt to foster positive embodiment, for example through attuned physical activities. Our findings suggest that clinical practice among individuals with experience(s) of trauma should address how they process and experience negative feelings in and toward their bodies.