Maternal Regret and the Myth of the Good Mother: A Psychosocial Thematic Analysis of Italian Women in a Patriarchal Culture

Motherhood regret still constitutes a major taboo that limits the possibility of processing the negative exposure to being a mother. This qualitative study involved Italian women living both in Italy and abroad, where traditional patriarchal thinking remains influential. Sixteen women defining themselves as 'regretful were interviewed to explore their experiences of regret, the changes following the birth of children, family and social support, and employment. The thematic analysis highlighted several recurring themes: the idealisation of motherhood and the hidden struggles it conceals; the guilt associated with feeling inadequate and the indifference of some fathers; the social pressure that compels women to conform to maternal expectations; the perception of being trapped in a predefined role; and the conflict between personal identity and the ideal of the "perfect mother.". The findings reveal that maternal regret is deeply intertwined with internalised patriarchal norms, the myth of the "good mother," and the social expectation of women's self-sacrifice. Despite recognising these as cultural constructs, participants expressed feelings of guilt, anger, and inadequacy, intensified by the unequal division of domestic and parental responsibilities. This issue and the need for a revival of women's consciousness-raising groups to open a space for dialogue on the topic in countries where patriarchy is still strong, such as Italy, are discussed.