‘Great Expectations’ versus ‘Reality Checks’: U.K. Christian Clergy Spouses’ Experiences of Divorce and Separation and Implications for Pastoral Care

Abstract Challenges associated with clergy marriage and divorce have been documented, and the impact of marital breakdown on clergy spouses has been recognised. However, there is a paucity of work that addresses the specific support needs of Christian clergy spouses and what constitutes effective pastoral care for this population. This article presents a mixed-methods study conducted in 2023 of divorced and separated clergy spouses in the United Kingdom which explored their understandings of pastoral care and support experienced before, during, and after marital breakdown. Twenty-seven participants completed an online survey, and 13 took part in a follow-up semistructured interview. The findings illustrate that pastoral care needs are higher during and after marital breakdown, but a considerable number of the participants did not receive pastoral care. Where care was received, participants rated it higher when provided by family, friends, and organizations than by the church. The study also demonstrated the impact of expectations of clergy marriage on the experience of marital breakdown. Importantly, high expectations of model marriages acted as barriers to disclosing marital breakdown. The findings demonstrate a lack of adequate pastoral support. A thematic analysis yielded a series of recommendations for effective pastoral care. These were providing care with the person at the center, holistic and individualized care, pre-emptive care, and persistent and consistent care. Overall, the study highlighted the profound impact of expectations on clergy marriages and the need for improvement in pastoral care for clergy spouses. This improvement of care should include training on the issues highlighted in this study.