Staying Apart for the Kids? Older American Daters and the Preservation of Family Wealth

Romantic repartnering in later life has received substantial scholarly and public attention in light of population aging and changes in family dynamics. In the United States, the importance of household wealth as a means to support basic welfare needs means that questions of dating and repartnering are complicated by financial considerations. This is particularly true with regard to preserving family wealth for children and grandchildren. Drawing on in-depth interviews and focus groups with 68 adults aged 55 to 92 in Phoenix, Arizona, we explore older adults' concerns about wealth in their decisions to date and repartner. Respondents describe desires to protect wealth for future generations and to evade financial tensions in intergenerational relationships. In this context, many respondents see new romantic partnerships as a potential threat to their control over family wealth. Faced with these concerns, older adults adopt relationship strategies designed to maintain some informality in their relationships-living apart together and no government marriage-which they believe will help them avoid the financial repercussions of repartnering. These findings highlight how older adults balance family concerns and plans about financial transfers with desires to date and repartner in later life. While previous research highlights the ways that marriage shapes wealth accumulation over the life-course, these findings suggest the opposite may also be true. For older adults seeking to repartner, a lifetime of accumulated assets-and the desire to transmit these to kin-may shape the types of romantic relationships they pursue, and in particular, may lead to avoiding formalizing new relationships through marriage.