Solitude as Short-Term Regulation: An Allostatic View of Withdrawal in Times of Distress

Humans are social, yet during moments of distress, brief time alone helps recovery. We ran two ecological momentary assessment studies – with adult (N=110; 6 prompts/day for 7 days) and preregistered adolescent sample (N=69; 6 prompts/day for 10 days). General negative experiences (negative emotions, worsened mood) predicted higher odds of preferring solitude, and so did social experiences (loneliness, high social load). Preference for solitude under distress emerged despite whether the person was with others or alone, so it is not just about wanting to get out of unpleasant social encounters. In adolescents, while such desire for solitude is generally avoidance-driven, those prone to social stress also preferred this time for regulatory aims – rest, autonomy, and reflection. Overall, the patterns support an allostatic view: the everyday desire for time alone is to help manage demand, not merely to escape; it highlights moments when withdrawing, rather than seeking more socialization, may be preferable.