Systemic Approaches to Loyalty and Polarisation. Revisiting Ivan Boszormenyi‐Nagy's Ideas in a Contemporary Context

ABSTRACT When conflicted couples and families adopt polarised positions, constructive dialogue ceases. Racism, sexism, and other forms of polarisation have the same silencing effects in the public domain. This paper views polarisation through the lens of loyalty. It outlines a systemic approach to polarised defensiveness that combines constructionist perspectives, positioning, and the relational ethics of Ivan Boszormenyi‐Nagy (Nagy). Loyal partisanship can be understood in terms of Valeria Ugazio's semantic polarities. Polarisation is likely in Melanie Klein's ‘paranoid‐schizoid’ position, where loyalty is defensive and unquestioning. In contrast, Eve Kofosky‐Sedgwick describes a reparative position that invites curiosity. Nagy suggests that curiosity about an opponent's values and loyalties will reveal relational obligations and entitlements, including the destructive sense of entitlement that may underlie aggression and violence. Curiosity is a necessary precondition for a dialogue in which each opposing party is fully ‘present’ and able to offer each other the consideration they have earned.