“We regret to inform you”: enacting willful feminist negotiations of rejection

Purpose This study explores the role of rejection in academia, particularly within qualitative inquiry. It considers how a feminist ethic of compassion can reframe rejection as a site of relationality, growth and critical engagement rather than exclusion or failure. Design/methodology/approach Using a critical feminist perspective grounded in Sara Ahmed’s concepts of willfulness, happiness and snap, the authors engage in a collaborative inquiry of personal archives of rejection from academic journals, tracing their affective, epistemic and disciplinary implications, specifically within the field of qualitative inquiry. By following and disrupting dominant narratives of academic success and failure, they interrogate inherited academic norms and cultivate alternative, more compassionate ways of being within the academy. Findings The study reveals how rejection operates within structures of power and knowledge production, reinforcing certain academic hierarchies while marginalizing others. By shifting from a binary of rejection/acceptance to an ethic of relationality and care, scholars can resist neoliberal pressures of productivity and embrace alternative, feminist modes of academic engagement. Originality/value This work challenges conventional understandings of academic rejection by reframing it through feminist ethics and collective inquiry. It contributes to discussions on affect, academia and knowledge production by offering an alternative orientation to rejection—one that emphasizes community, relational feedback, and a willful refusal of the logics of competition and scarcity.