Who Reaches Out to Old Friends and What Do They Say?

Social relationships, such as friendships, promote well-being. Yet research shows that most people have lost touch with a friend that they care about (i.e., have an “old friend”) and that they are reluctant to reach out after some time has passed. Given the emotional benefits of social connection and the potential that may come from reaching out to an old friend, we conducted three studies to examine what factors predict reaching out to an old friend. In Studies 1a-b, we coded a large corpus of previously collected reaching out notes (n = 863) along >20 textual dimensions to see which, if any, predicted whether the note was sent to an old friend. While a handful of dimensions were related to reaching out, none of these were consistent across studies, thereby providing limited insight into which text-based features predict reaching out behavior. In Study 2, we conducted a large survey (n = 312) to explore whether the author’s personality, trait happiness, or friendship beliefs were related to the likelihood of reaching out to an old friend. One exploratory dimension—friendship resiliency—predicted reaching out behavior, while friendship resiliency, openness to experience and friendship satisfaction predicted a willingness to reach out. Taken together, we found little evidence to suggest that characteristics of a reaching out note or the author predict whether the note is sent. We suggest that this failed search may mean that many people could be encouraged to reach out to their old friends under the right conditions.