A case study of protracted conflictual divorce

Purpose This study aims to examine how the disputing spouses (husband and wife) perceive and represent themselves and each other in their narratives of protracted conflictual divorce. Design/methodology/approach This study used a qualitative longitudinal research strategy in the form of a case study. The participants were a legally married couple (husband and wife) who had been undergoing the divorce process for two years at the time of the study. Data were collected through semi-structured interviews and analyzed using narrative positioning analysis. Findings At the beginning of his narrative, the husband positions himself as a people-pleaser in his relationship with his wife, but by the end, he sees himself as a fighter, defending himself against an aggressor (his wife). Meanwhile, the wife initially perceives herself as an independent woman, and by the end of her story, she views herself as even stronger and financially stable, capable of providing for both her and her children. At the beginning of the story, the husband positions his wife as the woman who has fulfilled all his dreams; at the end of the story, he positions her as the aggressor who tries to take away his property and children. The wife positions her husband as someone who wants to be above her and harm her in every possible way. The findings reveal that although both spouses try to understand their own contributions to the situation, they continue to perceive each other through a lens distorted by defense mechanisms. Research limitations/implications The results of this study are not generalizable due to methodological limitations and a small sample size. However, it provides a deeper insight into how both spouses perceive themselves and each other during a prolonged, high-conflict divorce before the legal dissolution of marriage. Practical implications It is crucial for professionals working with families to recognize how dynamics such as splitting and projection emerge during a high-conflict divorce, as these mechanisms can hinder any possibility of conflict resolution. It is essential for specialists not only to support everyone’s innate resilience and sense of self but also to ensure that personal beliefs, values and attitudes do not become so dominant that they hardly give space to other people’s perspectives. Social implications Given that divorcees are important sources of information for changes in policy and practice, knowing about their experiences can help improve the resources and assistance available to them and their children. Originality/value To the best of the authors’ knowledge, this is one of the first studies that is focused on what is representation of self and other of both parties in the context of protracted conflictual divorce.